I Hate This Art

I Hate It

The Dance Apocalypse. Photo by Kathryn Raines.

Nicole Bindler and Gabrielle Revlock, known together as The Dance Apocalypse, are dancers and choreographers who work together frequently in Philadelphia and abroad. Nick Stuccio has curated them here, in part, because of their unusual approach to audience interaction and audience building. We are very happy to present, here on Curate This, an original piece about what Gabi and Nicole hate.

-Julius Ferraro, co-founder

Nicole: I hate it when the presenter doesn’t let us bring our chickens.

Gabrielle: They’re not our chickens, they’re my dad’s.

Nicole: I hate it when a male choreographer’s female alias modeled after a porn star harrasses me on Facebook about my leg hair.

Gabrielle: I don’t have any leg hair because I went through a waxing phase and it never grew back.

Nicole: I hate it when the festival curator tries to charge the dancers in our piece $155 to perform with us because the festival is broke.

Gabrielle: Or when he schedules us to teach classes and we find out by browsing the festival website.

Nicole: Or when he threatens to sue us.

Gabrielle: I hate it when people put change in our donation jar.

Nicole: I hate it when my makeout partner* in our dance bites me so hard I bleed.

Gabrielle: I’m afraid of blood. That’s why in middle school I wouldn’t play dodge ball.

Nicole: I hate it when I see a previous makeout partner from our dance at a comedy club and they pretend they don’t know me.

Gabrielle: The worst date I ever went on was with a guy who called my parents’ community garden the “rape garden.” The second worst was with a nuclear engineer from a Birthright Israel trip.

Nicole: I told you not to go on Birthright, it’s funded by Sheldon Adelson.

Nicole: I hate it when a woman follows me into the bathroom after a performance, sits in the adjacent stall and tells me about her feces play-by-play.

Gabrielle: Not cool! Did you know Orthodox Jews never pee with the door open? I think that’s a good policy for maintaining romance.

Nicole: I hate it when one of our cast members can’t dance full out because his primary form of income is donating blood.

Gabrielle: And he’s not able to do a plié because he’s in the colorectal health study.

Nicole: I hate it when the body builder goes into a roid-rage, doesn’t show up for the performance and we have to replace him with the lady on crutches.

Gabrielle: I hate it when a famous choreographer is pitching a piece he just made to a presenter that’s like the one we made four years ago, and he’s gonna get the gig, not us.

Nicole: I hate it when my mom never comes to our shows and Gabi’s mom always brings cookies.

Gabrielle: My mom just texted me: “the cat is dead.”

Nicole: I hate it when the funder comes but doesn’t laugh at our jokes.

Gabrielle: I don’t laugh at our jokes either–it’s only you who thinks things are funny.

Nicole: I hate it when the presenter doesn’t let us drive the scooter in.

Gabrielle: I don’t know how to drive and I type with two fingers.

Nicole: I hate it when I get onstage and realize I forgot to bring the taxidermy fox hat.

Gabrielle: I hate it when we have a dead cat in a bag and you’re like “I’ll wear it if you take it out” and I’m like “I’ll wear it if you take it out” and we get nowhere.

Nicole: I hate it when a man tells us we have white, female privilege and I’m like, yeah we have white privilege, but what is female privilege? And because the comment was anonymous, we’ll never know the answer.

Gabrielle: I love that card. The writer was so full of passion. He wrote all over that tiny scrap of paper.

Nicole: I hate it that unison choreography makes people happy.

Gabrielle: I hate it that we don’t have three ears.

Nicole: We’d have a more accurate sense of where sound is coming from. Stereophonic hearing is decent but not as precise as tri-phonic.

Gabrielle: Yeah, three is more stable. You can’t have a chair with only two legs. We need a third ear!

Nicole: I hate it when people ask us to do things for free, like this article.

Gabrielle: If you would like to make a donation to The Dance Apocalypse follow this link: http://newyorklivearts.org/artist/gabriellerevlock, or come to our show, November 13-15 at AUX (Vox Populi) 319 N. 11th St. #3, Philadelphia, PA 19107.

Nicole: I hate it when my makeout partner makes me….

Gabrielle: Jeez Louise! How many makeout partners do you have??

Nicole: I hate it.

I made this for you. Photo by Kelly Strayhorn Theater.

*Makeout partner is the person Nicole kisses in “I made this for you” for four and a half minutes.

Photo Credits: (top) The Dance Apocalypse. Photo by Kathryn Raines. (bottom) I made this for you. Photo by Kelly Strayhorn Theater.

The Dance Apocalypse (Gabrielle Revlock and Nicole Bindler) is a Philadelphia-based company that makes dances with you and for you that transcend the border between audience and stage. Their work is fiercely feminist, wild, and genre defying. They are particularly interested in the Q and A format as performance; critiquing spectacle and competition in contemporary dance; collaboration as a practice and lifestyle. www.TheDanceApocalypse.org

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